guilty pleasure

sometimes, a reminder helps us a lot in facing confusing situations.

i almost forgot that-somehow-among us, between you and me, there is a brick wall that supposed to be our borderline. our separator. but lately i almost forgot too that this brick wall is still stand there separating you and me. me and you. we. us. i promised my self not to get involve too deep, but even the strongest man sometimes lose their control. so do i. i am not strong, and to make it worse, i lose my control of you. of us. i never-and will never-blame you for us being in this condition. even if it's you starting all this shit, i am the one who let my self drown in too deep, i blame me for that.

i'm sorry but i'm not gonna ask you to stop cause i love us the way we are now. i just saw a message from your beloved and it reminds me of me, you, her. we. us.or what we supposed to be. how we supposed to feel. like the fact that i supposed to be meant nothing to you, and vice versa.. like you were never meant something to me. she, and all of her messages are supposed to be my reminder. taking my control out of me when i can't even hold on to it tightly. realizing me that actually there is no any 'us' between us. you and me. us. we.

it's not that i meant it to be a bitch, but i never started this thing, baby. so tell me, where did i do wrong?